Divorce, separation, and child custody issues are stressful. Choosing a lawyer shouldn’t be.
We believe that when expertise matters, it’s best to rely on a professional. If a pipe breaks, we call a plumber. If the internet stops working, we call the cable company or our IT expert. We’ve even called an electrician to change a lightbulb in a hard-to-reach place. In fact, we only recently learned what “DIY” stands for. So, if we weren’t divorce lawyers, and found ourselves needing legal expertise in this area, we’d absolutely hire someone—specifically, a lawyer with extensive experience and knowledge in family law.
But maybe you are a DIY person. If so, the New York Supreme Court publishes forms for many family law situations, including divorce, if they are simple and straightforward. But changing a lightbulb or reconnecting your modem is a fairly low-risk project if things go wrong, especially if you remember to first turn off the electricity. Re-wiring your whole house on the other hand, even for the most sophisticated do-it-yourselfer, can not only be challenging, but pose substantial risks. Some you may see immediately, like the unnecessary holes you punched into the sheetrock. But others, like an improperly capped wire that is now buried behind the wall and may cause a fire when it overheats, you may not find until your house burns down.
So, if you are considering whether to hire a divorce lawyer[1], you should first decide if you’re changing a lightbulb or re-wiring your house. In all likelihood, it’s the latter. Divorce and custody issues are complicated: emotionally, psychologically, and financially. Often, there are no easy or obvious solutions and no training manual to help you. Moreover, the court system is complicated and rule-bound. Even experienced lawyers can have difficulty navigating it. Most importantly, if you get a bad outcome initially, it’s not easy to fix it and it may change your life forever.
A good lawyer is expensive. Often, a bad lawyer is too. So how do you figure out which is which? Further down in this article we give you some criteria to consider and things to look for in your lawyer.
Needless to say, you want to make sure your lawyer has experience, particularly in the areas that you think your case will need. If you think your case may involve litigation, you want to be sure your lawyer has actually tried cases and not just settled everything at the courthouse steps. But the majority of cases do settle, and you want to know that your lawyer has the type of personality that cannot just break things but put them back together as well.
After you have checked out his or her credentials, gotten recommendations, and been suitably impressed by the firm’s website, the rest is up to you. We often tell prospective clients when they ask us what they should be looking for in their lawyer that once they have done all their research, they need to rely on their own judgment and intuition. In a time of great stress that may feel scary.
But keep in mind, there is not just one perfect lawyer out there for you. There are many capable lawyers who can meet or exceed your expectations, so if you’re feeling like you’re in good hands, then you probably are.
Starting The Process: Finding a Family Law Attorney in New York
To begin the process of finding a family law attorney, you should try to gauge what kind of lawyer you think you need. For example, are you already in a constructive dialogue with your spouse about many of the issues that are important to both of you, or are you in a “War of the Roses” and can’t seem to agree upon the day of the week?
While you can’t possibly anticipate every issue that may arise during a divorce, you probably have a pretty good understanding about the issues in your relationship today, and you want to hire a lawyer who is a good fit for your specific issues and shares your sense of direction.
For example, divorce can be a fairly simple, straightforward process wherein both spouses generally share the same goals. An attorney known for quick settlements, mediation, or collaboration may be the perfect choice for you.
However, often there is significant conflict between spouses. Some couples are unwilling to compromise on important issues. Your case may require filing motion papers with the courts and appearing in court multiple times. Your divorce lawyer may need to take a firm stand on issues important to you during negotiations.
Do you have a solid understanding of your financial situation? Are your finances straightforward, or are they complicated? Do you own a business, or have you received a significant inheritance? Is there clear demarcation between your separate property and your joint property? Are there hidden assets (if you know)? Could your partner have accumulated debt unbeknownst to you? Does your partner have unexplained spending habits? A divorce lawyer with deep financial acumen and experience in handling complex financial issues or high net worth cases will be a significant resource for you, and they will be able to do the investigative work such a case requires.
Do you think there will be issues regarding child custody, including where the children live and how time is divided between the parents? Will child support or spousal support be an issue? What are your expectations for providing your children with a caring and nurturing environment post-divorce? Your lawyer must be able to advocate the positions that are best for you and for your children.
Or maybe you are already divorced, and your ex-spouse wants to cut child support or spousal maintenance payments to you. Or your ex-spouse wants these payments increased. Is your ex-spouse seeking to relocate with the kids in such a way that you would have less time with your children? Since the divorce, do you disagree with your spouse on decisions related to childcare, education, or religion? Family law attorneys can be instrumental in resolving post-judgment issues related to your matter.
As these questions show, there are many situations in which a family law attorney will not only be helpful but essential in protecting your financial and personal future.
Different divorce and family law attorneys have different strategies for managing various situations. The more you understand your situation and anticipate what might happen, the better prepared you are to choose an attorney with the right skills and experience.
Step 1: Develop a List of Potential Lawyers
Once you have a clearer understanding of the skill sets you think your divorce lawyer or family law attorney needs, it is time to develop a list of potential attorneys. Referrals are a terrific way to begin developing this list. Reach out to family, friends, business associates or anyone with whom you are comfortable having this discussion.
You could also check out some online resources, like the American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys (“AAML”) or the New York State Bar Association (“NYSBA”). The AAML is a list of certified and highly credentialed matrimonial lawyers who are generally considered to be among the most qualified lawyers in this field.
Step 2: Shorten The List
With your list in hand, dig a little deeper online to learn more about each family law attorney and their practice. Look at their credentials – how long have they been practicing? What is their practice focus? Do they belong to reputable legal associations (like the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers or the New York State Bar Association)? What geographic area do they serve?
Finally, pare the list down to your primary selections. Pick two or three lawyers who seem to meet your needs and have the qualifications suitable for your matter.
You now at least have a starting point. Maybe you don’t fully understand the type of lawyer you need. That’s ok. Start with the best information that you have. You can always get more referrals.
Step 3: Interviewing Potential Lawyers
Once you have a list of three or so lawyers, reach out to them. Call their office or send them an email to schedule a preliminary conversation. During this discussion, you’ll start to form opinions about whether this lawyer seems like “a good fit” for you and your situation. Sometimes this preliminary discussion turns into a full-on consultation. Other times, it is more exploratory in nature and helps you and the lawyer determine if you’d like to set up a more comprehensive consultation.
In your first conversation with a lawyer, be prepared to provide an overview of your situation – do you know you want a divorce or are you just researching “what if.” Are you looking for assistance with a post-judgment matter, or have child custody issues arisen? Or maybe you want to know more about prenuptial agreements in preparation for your upcoming marriage.
What to Expect from Your Consultation
The lawyer will want to know some details about you and your situation. In the case of divorce, this might include:
- General case overview
- o Why are you seeking a lawyer?
- o Has your spouse hired a lawyer yet?
- o At this stage of the process, what are the main issues that you perceive?
- Financial overview
- Do you own or rent your residence?
- What’s the employment status of you and your spouse?
- Approximately how much do you and your spouse earn and what have you saved?
- Custody Overview
- Do the child(ren) have special needs?
- Who has routinely cared for them?
- What are your respective work schedules?
- Do you agree on most issues such as education, religion, medical, and extra-curriculars?
Questions to Ask
You’ll want to ask the lawyer questions as well:
- What experience does the lawyer have with your type of matter?
- Does the lawyer have any initial thoughts about strategy?
- How much does the lawyer charge?
- What are the terms of the retainer agreement?
- Does the lawyer have associate lawyers who will also work on the case?
- Does the lawyer have contacts and resources that could be important to your case (such as accountants, trusts and estate attorneys, psychologists, etc.)?
This initial conversation may suffice, or you and the lawyer may choose to move forward with a more comprehensive consultation.
Step 4: Choosing Your Lawyer
So, you’ve spoken to a couple lawyers (or maybe just one). How do you make your selection? You’ve done your research and checked credentials. You have a sense for whether you get along with this lawyer and agree with the general guidance this lawyer has offered. You understand the fee structure and the resources this lawyer can apply to your case. After “looking at the facts,” trust your judgment and intuition. We mentioned this earlier. There is not just one perfect lawyer out there for you; so, if you’re feeling like you’re in good hands, then you probably are.
What Can You Expect from Your Lawyer?
Your attorney is a professional and should be well-versed in this specific area of law.
Be honest and forthright about your situation, it will only help your case. Expect honest and forthright responses from your attorney.
You can expect timely and responsive communications from your lawyer’s office and ongoing updates as your case moves forward.
The lawyer you choose is professionally obligated to represent you and your legal rights. The American Bar Association is clear on the responsibilities of your attorney:
As advisor, a lawyer provides a client with an informed understanding of the client’s legal rights and obligations and explains their practical implications. As advocate, a lawyer zealously asserts the client’s position under the rules of the adversary system. As negotiator, a lawyer seeks a result advantageous to the client but consistent with requirements of honest dealings with others. As an evaluator, a lawyer acts by examining a client’s legal affairs and reporting about them to the client or to others. Model Rules of Professional Conduct
Get In Touch
Major life transitions like divorce and other family law matters are challenging.
It is important to have a lawyer who can not only technically handle your case but also do it in a way that is in line with your values and needs.
Job #1 of your lawyer is to look out for your legal interests and secure decisions necessary for you to move on with your life.
We’d be happy to discuss your situation with you. Whether you are still exploring the idea or already know that you want to move forward with a divorce or other family law matter, get in touch with us.
If you are considering a divorce in New York, or have another New York family law matter, contact Garr Silpe, PC today to schedule a consultation.
- Divorce Lawyers are also known as Family Law Attorneys, Matrimonial Attorneys and occasionally other names. But the point is, with few exceptions, they all describe the same type of practice, which generally involves divorce, custody, support, and the negotiating and drafting of various kinds of agreements. ↩︎